my name is frank pelliccio, but you can call me damien krystov.

i am married to a super fabulous woman named allison, but i only call her monkey, monkeyfizl, monkabee, monkeyface, face, faceass, monkeyfish, monkeyfishfaceass, fish, babe, sweetheart...but never, ever allison. really - she.s awesome. we have a secret language...do you know what it means when the mollies are all in a bunch? no. didn.t think so.

i have an overweight cat named baxter. she is the closest thing to a kid that i want or need at this point in my life...she.s the most insane cat i have ever encountered. she likes to suck on cotton. not rayon. not silk. wool will not do. polyester doesn.t cut it. only cotton. 50/50 blend is ok, sometimes...maybe even spandex. but cotton is king. she has an unusual and unhealthy obsession with water. she makes me wash her when i take a shower. we also call her the peanut, the nut, p butter, butter, nutter p, p butts, baxter brown, baxter bo, bojangles, baxter bojangles, molly moonboots, baxterfish, peanutfish, and on occasion, the very rare miniature flying peanut monkey. i guess i do call her fatty, fatster, fatty arbuckle, lard, tubby, flabby tabby, and random expletives with some frequency, too. she has many nuances about her that no one could possibly understand - the spring-hoppers, coconut tree, fishing pole, cobra, and her mollies to name a few. she demands to be fed each morning at about 2~4am, and will annoy us until we wake up to feed her by knocking things off of tables, dressers, etc, or simply by making lots of noise by playing with garbage, scratching on furniture or other infuriating activity. well, i never get up to feed her...i just close the door, smack her, yell at her, or just ignore her. alli just can.t...and so baxter continues her degenerative behavior. recently we have had to devise a new tool to handle her nocturnal misbehavior, which we have dubbed "the peanut swatter." we have two such implements - one for alli and one for me. although i have recently taken over the responsibility of nighttime peanut wrangling and swatting. alli continues to encourage her disruptive behavior by feeding her when she is bad.

i like sushi. sushi is awesome.

there is a very real possibility that i am smarter than you. but you probably have a better memory than i do, so it all works out in the end.

i love art.

i love music.

i make art.

i make music.

i perform as krystov, hurtmachine, and nightcrawler 1947.

most of the song lyrics i write are derived from my poetry.

i run a small record label called xorsix records.

i run a small software development firm called 0xD media / design / development.

i am founder of guidezilla.com. i wrote the original website in 06.2004, but never completed it. i received an email from someone interested in purchasing the guidezilla.com domain in 2005. that prompted me to complete the site, rewriting it from scratch. in late 2005, i entered into negotiations to form a company around guidezilla. in 2006, we formed guide event management, llc, and guidezilla is now operating live. i add new features every day.

until recently, i worked 40 hours a week for a software company in madison, ct, which i hated passionately and completely...i have a new job, but it.s too early to know if i will enjoy it.

i don.t believe in god. that.s an understatement. i vehemently disbelieve in all things of a spiritual nature. no god. no ghosts, spirits, no reincarnation, no heaven, hell, valhalla, or other such bullshit. i think this is a side effect of the catholic upbringing. i do, however, believe in math and science, and i am wholly fond of the static that flows in between my ears.

i have several tattoos.

i change my hairstyle very frequently. at some points of my life, i have changed the color and / or style every day. i have naturally dark brown hair. it was bleach blonde - almost platinum during the summer of 2005, but as of this writing, it.s back to dark brown.

i dislike capital letters.

i don.t really enjoy chinese food all that much.

mental illness runs in my family. i think i might be next...but who knows? you.re the one that.s crazy.

i think that you are a computer geek if you can understand and recognize MOV CX, 029Ah, not just because you were able to setup your mom.s dsl modem. try writing your own interrupt vectors for an embedded operating system. prescale? pull-ups? forget it.

i spend so much time at home alone, that my social life has diminished to a crt, cpu, mouse, keyboard, and cable broadband.

i am intrigued by "dark" things like art, music, etc, which completely contradicts the lighthearted goofy person i am in real life.

i have several piercings.

i get irritated more easily than most people. i have the patience of...well, i just don.t have a lot of patience. life is too short to spend waiting for fuck offs and morons to turn through the super-short highway entrance ramp light on route 1.

i sometimes refer to myself as a paradox, since many of my character traits are conflicting.

i enjoy driving dangerously fast. i have had complaints regarding my consistent speeding and aggression level from every female that has ever ridden with me.

i like to dance in my bikini briefs all over the house.

allison worries that i.m an alcoholic. i don.t worry...

i make some mean turkey meatballs...but i am wholly disgusted with eating ground turkey these days. actually, most ground meat it putting me off lately. we make some killer pizza at home, but turkey sausage is a good topping for them.

i am extraordinarily terrified of dying...because i am rational enough to know it.s the end. no arguments. game over.

i am usually a very nice [considerate] person, hyper-aware of how my actions affect others, and as such, i try to remain cognizant of the people around me. conversely, sometimes i am a selfish prick, with no patience for anyone.

i believe in good manners. so i even acknowledge a stranger.s sneeze with the customary ..bless you.. phrase. inevitably, i feel uncomfortable afterward, as if i am some hippocrate, since i so do not subscribe to spiritual beliefs...but then i feel ok about it, because i am simply employing a polite custom. i celebrate christmas for the same reason. but ok - giving presents is fun! i once sent-out rave flyer style invitations to a christmas party that read ..put the x back in xmas and leave christ to the christians..

i randomly quote arcane movie and song lines, even when completely out of context.

i often instinctively know who an artist is while listening to their music, even if i have never heard them before. it.s pretty weird.

i broke my nose when i was twelve. it was smashed into little bone splinters. i had to have reconstructive surgery so i could breather through it. to this day, i still have a great deal of difficulty breathing through my nose.

i sweat a lot.

i am anal about order. it totally freaks me out when things are out of their "place." an episode of the jetsons always comes to mind, when rosie the robot maid short circuits, and continually repeats "a place for everything, and everything in its place."

i.m not good with names. i.ve been making a concerted effort to try to pay better attention when new people are introduced to me. i.m getting only slightly more adept at remembering names.